My problem is that I am logical and philosophical. Does that even make sense? lol! On the one hand I crave stability because, due to circumstances I have not been able to control, I’ve never really had it, except w/ maybe my parents. On the other hand, I crave questioning and researching and learning, and do to that part of myself I’ve often bee outcast in groups.

Yet, the logical stability part of me often wonders if I should stop all the questioning and just go w/ the flow and play the “game” so to speak. I could just then get along w/ others, play nice, not make other uncomfortable by my need to find a better way or waste my energy researching things, because I have found most people don’t want to find the truth or to change, they just like talking about it.

Maybe I am asking more than one question here, but I really am at a cross roads right now and I got your book and it’s helped me a lot. Reading some of your articles has been helpful too, but some also leave me w/ the question of how to manage something like this though.

Finally, I know this is a hard question to answer because there are different circumstances for how it could relate. For instance, the horse industry, which I have been working in for years now, is so clickish, but full of liers and back stabbers, I am sorry, but it’s true and refusing to be like that has hurt me in the industry, but I just want stability in it, yet… well you know. Now I am trying to get into photography on my own as well. That seems to be going a bit better. It allows me a creative outlet and is more open to questions and so on. It’s “stability” and how far one can safely “think outside the box” is far different.

Also… this is a whole different question, but I want to ask it in the same email. I often run into people I find I have to dumb myself down to talk to. If I didn’t I would have no friends. I ask myself why this is. Maybe I am a tad arrogant. Ok, I can be arrogant, but it’s like when you know things and people around you have know idea, and then you tell them, and they act like your shoving it in their face or stare at you like you’re from the planet Zorg. How do you deal w/ that? Do you just kind of stop at a certain point and hide the real you, when speaking? Or do you be yourself and keep talking regardless? My problem is that I get kind of upset inside. Like, I am not understood and I can’t be myself. It feels lonely even in a crowded place. Sometimes I find someone who gets it and I no longer feel that way, but that is rare. How would you suggest dealing w/ something like this?

Ok, just thought I’d throw those questions out there to you. I figured you might be able to help me think in a knew way or be able to handle things a different way.