On a recent birthday I was looking back at the strategies that my friends from high school and college and I employed to get where we are today. We assumed that success would bring happiness, and as far I can tell, we were wrong. It turns out that the two are separate, even though marketers would have us believe otherwise…
Click here to read the entire Happy or Successful podcast as an article.
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“Either way you have a shot at both, but in one case you guarantee you will be happy.”
The pursuit doesn’t guarantee you’ll reach the destination.
What’s the likelihood of achieving either? Does achieving one increase the odds of achieving the other?
How much does this affect the direction one should choose?
In my experience, it’s easier for me to know I’m on a path that doesn’t lead to happiness and doesn’t give my life meaning. It’s much harder to know if my five-year plans are off course. My happiness signal is a shorter-term, and thus easier-to-follow feeling.
How do they affect each other? In my experience, many people deliberately choose things that will negatively impact happiness because they believe it will bring success. (That’s the decision to live for achievement.)
I’ve noticed that when people are happy, they tend to be more mentally and emotionally able to treat people well, do a good job (because they enjoy it, rather than resent it), and be OK putting in long hours that they enjoy.
As I mentioned in the original post, the bizarre thing is that by pursuing happiness not only is my internal life better, but my external, achievement life is doing better than ever, as well. (But even if it weren’t, I’d be happy!)
I’m planning to show your article to my 20 year old son, who is struggling to choose a direction right now (college or not, what kind of work, etc.) I think he’s too concerned with “wasting” time by starting down the “wrong” track and then having to switch directions down the road.
I wish he would be more concerned with what kind of person he wants to become, regardless of what road he goes down (or how many of them he goes down). So I think your words will give him something to think about. The only thing I would have spun a little differently from you is to have made it chrystal-clear that happiness only results from finding something larger than yourself to live for and contribute to…just a slightly different way to link happiness and meaningfulness.
You have no idea how this 6 minute podcast just changed my life. I’ve been living for success, holding out and hoping it would bring happiness. Recently, I reversed the roles and upon putting happiness first realized that I didn’t want to let success be my driving force.
This has caused me a lot of internal struggle, and this podcast gave me a lot of clarity that I’ve been searching for. Thanks!
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