I’m writing a Get-it-Done Guy episode on remembering names and faces. I know how I remember names. But my way isn’t perfect. In fact, if you’ve ever met me and expected me to remember your name, you’ll know my way sucks. (Sorry, Mom. At least, I think your name was “Mom.”)
I may use your answer in the Get-it-Done Guy episode. Please leave your name as you want me to read it if you would like me to give you credit in the episode. Thanks!
So…
How do you remember names and faces?
The more strange a mnemonic is, the more easily remembered. If you need to remember a name, say “Stever Robbins”, I might picture my childhood friend Steve walking up to a giant letter ‘R’ with 2 birds sitting on it – robins of course. For added memory reinforcement I may make up a story of how Steve asked the robins what they are going to do and they said “Get it done” and they fly into a Catholic church during mass to remind me you are in the state of Mass. My memory is about as bad as yours but it sometimes works!
My method is very similar to Jim’s (above) but not nearly as detailed or goofy!
I generally try to remember first names and last INITIALS only, just to make it easier on myself. But I am very bad at this in general. I think it is because we have so much else to think about. I do want to get better, and I think that is a “get-it-done” thing. For other people, I think they just chalk it up to being horrible with names and let it go.
I think you can tell a lot about someone if it bothers them or if they have a method at all.
I teach at a local college, and with 100+ students, I work hard to remember their names by the end of the term. One thing I do is ask each student to tell me something unique about themselves, something that others don’t know about them. (Actually, in a group setting, I have them team up, get their juicy details shared, then introduce each other.) The more interesting the better. For example, I got to sing with ABBA in the 4th grade (30 yrs ago) for “Year of the Child” AND found my picture in a coffee table book. Students either look at me like, “Who’s ABBA?” or “OMG – seriously?” Then, they remember, “Evelyn sang for ABBA!” I found that their unique stories help me remember their names. This is also a self esteem builder, as they have to come up with something, even though they resist having to compliment themselves with some details.
I work in a business where networking is key. I try to use the person’s name a few times in conversation, then if they give me their business card, I make a note on it as soon as possible. So if John from ABC Marketing gives me his card, the next bathroom break I take, I mark ‘wore a blue paisley suit’ … so I can remember when I get back to the office.
No special methods… I remember faces extremely well… the name is just part of the memory of the face for me.. i love names so i love to connect the two
if i am in a situation where i blank on a name, the face will remind me of the circumstances under which I met them or have interacted with them and with a few minutes i can almost always recall the name.
My method is similar to Jim’s. We remember things the more funny, elaborate, painful, etc. they are. Simply hearing somebody’s name isn’t memorable at all. So, immediately I’ll think of somebody else with the same name, if I can. The bigger, bolder the “other” person’s personality, the better. Celebrities & political figures work great — even fictional characters. I’ll then imagine the “new” person doing something with the “associated” person, or link a physical characteristic to the new person. For instance, I recently met a “Sarah”. I immediately thought of “Sarah, Plain and Tall”, because this Sarah had a fair complexion, and was taller than me. Now, every time I see her, I think “Sarah Plain & Tall” and I immediately know her name. Of course, if the new Sarah looked anything like the Alaska Governor, liked to hunt, or I met her at a Mavericks game, I’d have associated her with a different Sarah…
Bizarre, I rarely forget names! It’s such an important thing so that’s why I try to pay attention to it. (What’s that famous quote? The most beautiful sound in the world is the sound of your own name?)
Say the name aloud after meeting the person and repeat it in your head. It’s useful to get familiar with the the way it physically feels to say the name. Maybe sing it too! Or think of a song with the same name! (Elenor?) It’s also useful to store a memory of hearing someone else say their name.
The only problem I have is when some people look like they should have a different name, eg their name’s David but they really look like a Chris. In that case, I have to remember both names, and remember that there is an issue with their name…. so I go “Ah, that’s Chris… no it’s not… what’s the other name… ah, it’s David.”
As for people who have the same names, I just mentally group them all together!
-Wendy Lang
Hey, Stever.
I used to guide kayaking on the weekends as a break from corporate life; for safety (and fun) I challenged myself to memorize every name, every time, on the first go ’round (groups typically of 8 to 30).
For me, I associated the name with a facial characteristic (“Diane = dyed hair”) or someone I know (“Chris looks a lot like the Chris I knew in high school”). For this to work, I always repeat the name (“Hi, Diane.”) while thinking of the characteristic. Whenever possible, I give that a second go, as soon as I can (“Diane, could you lend me a hand with this boat.”) Foolproof IF I’m fully attending to names when I meet the people.
Pam
In school I had a professor who at the beginning of each class during the first week or so had us do a name exercise. The first person says their own name. The next person says the first person’s name then their own name. The third person says the first two people’s names then their own name. And so forth. The first person then has to go back and say everyone’s name. The class size was usually about 15-17 students. While this repetition exercise helped me remember the names for the period of the class, I rarely remembered them after that semester, since I did not have them in other classes.
In networking situations, since I am a visual learner, I need to write something down about the person or see their name on a nametag in order to remember them. So if we exchange cards, I’ll make a note on the back about some piece of information I need to provide them or at least the event where I met them. Even then, I sometimes need to refresh a look at names before going into meetings.
At new jobs I physically go to people’s offices an introduce myself and associate something with them like their position.
In any situation, if I can associate the person with a story, I can then better remember the face even if I may not remember the name without peeking at my notes.
I suspect that the folks who say they remember names based on saying the name or listening to the sound of the name are aural learners. Kinetic learners will need to associate some physical action with the name to better remember it.
I struggle with names and always always always have to relate their name to an interesting descriptor, or associate them with someone I also know, or even a song (I’m a singer). So, I originally associated my colleague Don to “Don-don-don-don (the tune of the wedding march)”, my friend Veronica to the popular song, etc. That said, I’m a visual learner, so our company’s directory with names AND faces is incredibly valuable
I teach elementary school and I’ve learned a really simple way to remember students’ names – just call them all buddy, champ, or sweetie!
Unfortunately, this technique doesn’t work as well with adults.
I’ve learned that I will remember a name if I have a chance to write it down. I think that hearing it AND seeing it makes a huge difference.
I use a combination of evelyn’s and jackie’s methods. during conversation i try to use the name as often as i can AND a try to find out something personal, something unique that somehow sticks the name to the person. sometimes it sounds very stupid saying “so jill, how do you get your kids to school? are you getting them there in your lemon-green golf GTI, jill?” but people somehow like it when you call their names while having a conversation with them.
As Evelyn above, I teach college and rely on interesting details to make the connection. On the first day I always introduce myself, and then have the students do the same, sharing their name, hometown, major and interests. From that jumping off point I press further, and usually uncover something worth remembering. Then I pair the name, interesting fact and face together, and viola—I’ve learned their name.
At the moment I’m teaching “long engagement” Jessica, “from Ethiopia” Henok and “historian hippie” Brent. That plus checking attendance and handing back assignments gets it done, at least in that context.