Originally appeared on: https://www.quickanddirtytips.com/qdtarchive/giving-to-build-success/
June 10, 2008
Being a “Go-Giver” can lead to success and happiness.
Today’s topic is using giving to get what you want. The quick and dirty tip is to give more value than you charge. And we’re not just talking about money.
It’s Better To Give Than To Receive
When I was a kid, grown-ups used to say, “”Tis better to give than to receive.” In what universe? Receiving treated me pretty good. In my world, Santa Claus brought ME a train set. The Easter Bunny brought ME chocolate eggs. And Lucrezia, Demon of the Night, brought ME the tormented souls of my enemies. Giving wasn’t high on my list.
So I was bummed when researchers showed that giving actually makes you happier than receiving. And the happiness lasts longer. Who knew? Thank you, researchers. There’s even a best-seller about giving, “The Go-Giver” by Bob Burg and John David Mann. They lay out the Law of Value: always give more in value than you receive in payment.
As a customer, we love getting more value than we paid for. That’s why JetBlue is so awesome—their coach class is better than other airlines’ first class. It makes me want to fly them. A lot.
You Scratch My Back, I’ll Scratch Yours
And… there’s deeper psychology at work, too.
More than my Tom Cruise “Top Gun” jet pilot fantasies, I mean. Social psychologists have discovered a principle called “reciprocity.” When someone does a favor, we feel obliged to return it. We’ll do more than the original favor. They give us a free piece of chewing gum, we let them borrow our car and total it. If you doubt this principal, take a good look at your romantic relationships.
This makes sense! If we all give more than we receive, everyone wins. It bonds a community. Unless, of course, you’re one of the 5% of the population who’s sociopathic, and statistically, there are a lot of you listening. In your case, screw the community! Just remember that reciprocity pretty much guarantees you’ll get ahead by being generous.
The Best Things in Life Are Free
In terms of business, you can give more value than your payment in lots of ways. My philosophy is that I want to give at least ten times the value I charge, and I charge a lot. That means my clients end up being people with very big goals. Otherwise, I can’t deliver the high value-to-price ratio.
If you’re in a service business, you can deliver value in the form of extra service. Be available by e-mail or BlackBerry in ways that other people aren’t. Deliver at unusual hours. Be a plumber who works noon to 8 p.m. so you can charge daytime rates and provide service after people get home from work. Or wear a clown costume and make balloon animals for the kids while you fix the pipes. Be creative.
Your ultimate service business is your relationship. Surprise your sweetie with a foot massage. Or flowers. Or write a love poem. Serenade your sweetie. Bring home chocolates. Pick up your socks without being asked. Or how about ask your sweetie for a birthday present that’s actually something you know he, she, or they would like, and then give it to them when you open it. Wouldn’t get you some extra snuggling at night?
You can give to anyone by just being nice. Smile. Compliment them. Listen to them (people love to be listened to). Bring them lunch when they’re too busy to go out on their own. Help them when they didn’t expect help. You’ll be happier, and so will they. But you’ll be even more happier, because it’s better to give than to receive, remember?
At the end of the day, if we concentrate on giving, every one of us is being looked after by everyone we know. If we concentrate on taking, then we’ve only got one person–us–looking after us. And when it comes to life, there are some things that are just more fun with other people.
Work Less, Do More, and have a Great Life!
RESOURCES:
Interview with Bob Burg, co-author of The Go-Giver
– Bob Burg’s web site
– Article on happiness and giving
About the Author
Stever Robbins was the host of the Get-it-Done Guy podcast, an iTunes top-10 business podcast, from 2007 to 2020. He is a graduate of W. Edward Deming’s Total Quality Management training program and a Certified Master Trainer Elite of NLP. He holds an MBA from the Harvard Business School and a degree in Computer Science from MIT.
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