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Originally appeared on: https://www.quickanddirtytips.com/qdtarchive/build-deepen-and-maintain-your-network-for-success/

February 22, 2016

Don’t leave relationships to chance! Build them deliberately.

My coaching client Sal was extremely frustrated. Sal was hired to be director of business development of Bufflesnack.com, and was doing a bang-up job, bringing in several major clients. A new marketing director was hired, Morgan, who didn’t seem to do very much at all. In fact, Morgan’s main activity was hanging out by the executive suite and shmoozing with the CEO.

Within six months, Sal’s strong performance had been recognized, and Sal had gotten a real pat on the back for a job well done. Morgan, however, had been promoted to Chief Strategy Officer, and was made Sal’s boss. Sal was livid: “I’m doing a great job and getting hand prints on my suit. Morgan is getting nothing done, missing deadlines, and getting promoted. It isn’t fair!”

Poor Sal. Sal thinks life should be fair. And it is, if you look at it right. Sal hadn’t listened to my episode on understanding your workplace currency, and thinks the job is sales, or marketing, or business development. But apparently not. At BuffleSnack, networking and relationships are more important than results.

Networking Is King

This isn’t unique to BuffleSnack. Success at any company larger than one person requires you have the right relationships in place. It doesn’t matter how good a job you do if no one but you knows about it. It doesn’t matter whether you have the answers if you never tell anyone. And then if you do tell them, unless they trust and like you enough to listen, your ideas will go nowhere.

If you work for a corporation and don’t have a specific networking plan within your company, now’s the time to start. If you work for yourself and don’t have a specific networking plan within your industry, it’s time to start. If you’re unemployed and don’t have a specific networking plan to find a job, it’s time to start. If you’re independently wealthy and don’t have a specific networking plan to find life satisfaction, hire me to help you build an extraordinary life. I’m expensive, but so very, very worth it.

Identify the People You Need and Who Need You

Start by listing the people you need to do your job. If you can identify specific people, that’s great. When I was a development manager at Intuit ages and ages ago, my project was the Quicken credit card. I realized that customers might call in with questions about credit card charges, and we as a company would have to be prepared to take those calls. The person in charge of our support department was someone whose success was intertwined with mine. They were high on my list.

You probably already know people who you’re intertwined with, but with whom you have only a shallow, passing relationship. They go on your list. If you don’t have specific people you can identify, then simply identify the type of person. If you’re an aspiring author, you might decide that you want book agents in your network, even though you don’t know any specifically yet. So add “book agents” to your list.

Create a Spreadsheet

They say “what gets measured gets managed.” I don’t know who “they” are—apparently they aren’t being measured, so I’m not managing them—but in my experience, it’s true. To make your networking effective, measure and manage your efforts.

Create a spreadsheet and in the first column, start on line two, list the people and categories you want to include in your network. Label the second column, “contact made.” Label the next columns with the months of the year, starting with the current month. If you’re listening to this in March, your column headings will be: “Contact made, March, April, May, June, July…” and so on until next March.

For everyone whom you already know, type an X into the “Contact made” column. For everyone else, leave that column blank. Now, you’re ready to starting working it.

Establish New Relationships

On a weekly basis, review your spreadsheet and find people or categories who don’t yet have an X in the “Contact made” column. Take steps to set up a meeting with at least one of the people you want to meet, but haven’t. If you have a specific name, reach out and invite them to lunch. If you have a category, do some research to find out where those people hang out. Book agents, for example, might attend the Book Expo of America in New York City every year. Buy a ticket.

If you don’t have a specific networking plan within your company, now’s the time to start.

Once you’ve met in person, put a + in the “contact made” column. Then move into deepening and maintaining your relationship. You don’t necessarily have to have sleepovers and become BFFs, but you do need to have a strong enough relationship that they remember you and like you, enough so they decide to spare you when they use CRISPR to deliver their genetically tailored killer virus that liquifies 99% of the human race in a misguided attempt to restore balance to the planet.

Fortunately, you have a spreadsheet! Every month, scan your relationships spreadsheet. For each person, look across the row to find out when you’ve last re-connected. If it’s been more than a few months, call and schedule another meeting. Once you’ve met, put a + in the appropriate column.

Consider Using a Database

You don’t have to use a spreadsheet, of course. You might put together a database that has a “next contact needed” date, and then every week or month, run a report to find out who you need to “ping.”

Personally, I prefer systems like the spreadsheet, where I can see everything at once. Scanning a list reminds you who’s been off the radar screen for a while. Seeing everyone in one place also lets you start making tradeoffs. When it’s clear that some people are no longer important in your life, you can remove them from the list, or start contacting them less frequently. When it’s clear someone is going to be a useful pawn in your plan to create a competing CRISPR virus that saves the human race, you can start contacting them more frequently.

Research on leadership and power dynamics says that your network is one of your major keys in clawing your way to the top of whatever puppy pile you’re in. Identify who you need in your network, reach out, and start establishing a relationship. Don’t just leave it to chance, however. Track whom you contact and when, and over time, make sure to maintain and deepen your relationships.

The company eventually tanked, since Morgan had completely neglected the job of generating revenue for the company, but Sal learned an important lesson: success is as much about who you know as what you do. Last I heard, Sal was seen at fund-raising parties for every major political candidate in this year’s race, striking up lively conversations with the candidates about genetic engineering. Be afraid. Be very, very afraid.

Work Less, Do More, and have a Great Life!

About the Author

Stever Robbins was the host of the Get-it-Done Guy podcast, an iTunes top-10 business podcast, from 2007 to 2020. He is a graduate of W. Edward Deming’s Total Quality Management training program and a Certified Master Trainer Elite of NLP. He holds an MBA from the Harvard Business School and a degree in Computer Science from MIT.

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Episode 397: Build, Deepen, and Maintain Your Netw…

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