A publicist just pitched me a story about carbon monoxide detectors, which isn’t really a good fit for my podcast. I sent the following response. One person thinks I went a little too far. What do you think?
Did you listen to my podcast before sending me the below pitch, or did you simply mass e-mail me? Either way, you’ve hit the nail on the head.
My podcast is about personal productivity, and occasionally features zombies. Most publicists pitch me on personal productivity. Since your pitch clearly has nothing to do with that, I assume you’re pursuing the zombie angle. Thank you! You’re the first publicist who has actually spent the time and effort to understand both aspects of my podcast.
After giving your pitch careful thought, I think we could feature your clients in an episode about their tragic deaths and rebirth as zombies. How did they come to grips with body parts that ooze pus and fall off? Was eating raw brains as satisfying as making Betty Crocker brownies (they died while cooking, after all)? I’ve always wanted to include a good zombie origin story.
The death scenes would be too boring, though. Carbon monoxide is odorless, colorless, and pretty much painless, but I’m sure Candace and Elizabeth wouldn’t mind us taking small liberties. Perhaps they needed to open the box of brownie mix, so they rushed to the basement to grab a chainsaw, and even though the light was burned out, they ran down the stairs and … Well, I’m sure I don’t need to tell you what happened next. We’ll capture the 13-18 year-old teenage male demographic for sure! Maybe we can even raffle off a free copy of “DeathSpank” by HotHead games.
This is going to be BIG!
What’s the best way to move forward from here?
Stever “Stephanie Meyer Eat Your Heart Out” Robbins