Related article: Ten Cultural Career Lies

This page is a companion to my audio program about how to write a cover letter. I would like to express extreme appreciation for the brave job seeker who gave me permission to use his letter for this program.

You can download the audio program here.

Due to time constraints, I wasn’t able to finish editing the audio, so
the current version may have some starts and stops after minute 9.

The original cover letter

 

Dear Ms. Spotz,

I am a second year MBA student at Sacred Heart School of Business, wishing to pursue a consulting career at McConsulting & Company.

McConsulting’s track record of creating a powerful impact on client’s businesses and its focus on work-life balance impressed me the most when I visited McConsulting’s Delaware office during the Sacred Heart Delaware Trip (DelaTrip) in December. I have had a deeper understanding of McConsulting’s results-oriented approach and emphasis on employee development opportunities, in my 3 subsequent visits to your Delaware office when I met with Ms. Helene Roddik, Ms. Gonasiya Later, and my classmate Mr. Baron Nette. Since then I have met Mr. Dan Darkstone, Ms. Candice Englestein, Mr. Daniel Chen, Mr. Blake Prescott, and Mr. Anderson Macco on different occasions and have developed a passion for the firm.

My passion for results-oriented strategic advice goes back a long way in my career. I joined the Supply chain group at Bradford Mechanicals six years ago. It is here that I enjoyed challenging the status-quo of existing processes and implemented re-organizations that made an enormous impact to the entire company. I also developed strong relationships with executives in over 70 hi-technology suppliers/partners and performed strategic, technical and management due diligence to implement organizational changes in these firms. I decided to seek an experience in the financials side of the business while at Sacred Heart and joined the Delaware office of Citibank where I performed market and industry analysis, led due diligence efforts, coordinated cross-border deals, worked with Private Equity firms and developed client relationships in the technology sector. Prior to working at Citbank, I enjoyed my first part of the summer providing strategic advice to a leading telephone switching company in Austria.

My expertise and experience in successfully creating value and long-lasting impact for clients , several of them in the technology sector in the North East, have led me to believe that Consulting at McConsulting, Delaware is the perfect choice for me. I would greatly appreciate being considered for the closed list of candidates selected to interview with you. Should you require additional information, please contact me at (555) 555-5555.

Sincerely,

 

FEINE CANIDAYTE

 

The revised cover letter

Note The revisions are far less important than the reason behind the revisions. Listen to the audio for that! Then read this example, which shows how the points in the letter above can be related directly to employer goals and outcomes.

Dear Ms. Spotz,

I am a second year MBA student at Sacred Heart School of Business, wishing for the chance to become a strong contributor at McConsulting & Company.

I can help McConsulting deliver powerful, out-of-the-box solutions to your clients. As a member of Bradford Mechanical’s supply chain group, I was known for innovative thinking that reduced expenses by 20% and streamlined efficiency by reorginizing the departments. My relationships with over 70 high-tech suppliers and partners lets me bring you leading insight into industry trends, plus a strong network for helping McConsulting obtain first-person perspectives from major players.

I can also offer an approach spanning both business and financial strategy. At Citibank’s Delaware office, I performed market and industry analysis, led due diligence efforts, coordinated cross-border deals, and worked with Private Equity firms. My finance knowledge enhances my consulting knowledge by providing finance-oriented insight to supplement other strategic discussions.

McConsulting creates powerful impact on client businesses. From visiting your Delaware office and spending time with nine of your partners and associates, I believe we would be an excellent fit. Please consider me your interview list. I will call you Thursday at 3 p.m. to follow up with this letter. Should another time work well for you, please contact me at (555) 555-5555.

Sincerely,

FEINE CANIDAYTE

Cover Letter

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