The Gay Agenda and the Destruction of Marriage
… get over it

[Note: this was written the day before Pres. Bush’s 2004 State of the Union address, in which he suggested a constitutional amendment to “protect” marriage.]

A lot of people have been afraid that letting gay people get married will result in the “destruction of marriage.” I just don’t buy it.

My Big, Fat, Obnoxious Fiance

The committed, same-sex couples I know are married for all practical purposes. Several have kids. They’re really typically domestic. As far as I can tell, they basically want hospital visitation rigts and the right to take each other’s kids to the doctor if the kids get sick.

Married by America

But will they destroy marriage? The question doesn’t matter. Gay people don’t need to destroy marriage; the media is doing a fine job of it. Popular culture is doing it for us. Our own lack of good role models, healthy relationships, and communication skills is doing it for us.

Bachelor & Bachelorette

Have you noticed our culture’s great line-up of role models for forming solid, stable, happy marriages? The line-up must be working: the divorce rate has been 40-50% for decades(*). Purely heterosexual marriage is about as stable as a coin toss.

Joe Millionaire, I and II

So before we worry too much about whether giving gay couples the same civil rights enjoyed by other couples, let’s look long and hard at what it means to be a couple.

Ben and J-Lo

Let’s see some role models for what it takes to form a stable, long-term, loving relationship between two people.

Queer Eye for the Straight Guy

Bizarrely, last year’s surprise hit was Queer Eye for the Straight Guy where a group of gay men help straight men become physically and emotionally attractive to their girlfriends. One early episode even featured the Fab Five helping a young man propose to his girlfriend in an evening so romantic it belonged … well, as a role model!

Unfortunately, that’s the only time I’ve seen positive relationship images on national TV. Positive images just don’t sell. So it’s up to us!

Rather than worrying whether someone or something out there will destroy marriage, let’s put our efforts into strengthening relationships of all kinds! You can be a role model. Do you have a happy, stable marriage? Make sure your kids see it. Let them know how to work through disagreements. Demonstrate how you keep love alive and growing over time. Talk with people about how to balance conflicting needs as a relationship changes over time. Because no one can make or break a relationship but the people in it, and if two people can make it work, I say more power to them!

(*) Source: 2002 CENSUS BUREAU REPORT ON MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE, http://www.census.gov/prod/2002pubs/p70-80.pdf.

The Gay Agenda and the Destruction of Marriage

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