Why do we keep a sex offender’s registry?

It’s time to renew my driver’s license, and the form that came in the mail had a big black banner proclaiming that all sex offenders must remember to register with the local police department. Am I the only person who wonders about this?

Now, I’m no fan of sex offenders. In fact, criminals of all kinds make me a bit uncomfortable. Violent muggers leave a bad taste in my mouth, and drug-crazed murderers are distinctly not invited for brunch. But isn’t a pretty crucial part of our justice system the notion that once you’ve served your time, you have another chance to prove yourself?

Apparently not, so I’m in favor of registering everybody who’s ever been arrested for anything. In fact, let’s publish it in Excel. Using the convenient “Autofilter” capabilities, it would be a snap to sort by the type of crime. Since there are always a few who fall back to their wicked ways, you might be able to find good contacts to score some recreational drugs. Or you could sort by street address and send anonymous letters to serial killers, addressed from Jesus, to see if you can spark them on another rampage. The possibilites are endless!

I’m rushing to City Hall now to find out what it will take to get a referendum on the ballot.

Whoever thought a driver’s license renewal notice would spark social reform?

Why do we keep a sex offender’s registry?

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